Nathan is Hebrew and means "gift from God" - we couldn't have been more blessed than to have been chosen as his parents!

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What Kind of Parent Are You?

I came across this post over at the Mom Crowd and had to share it. I've heard about being a Mod-Mom but not this.

Are You a Helicopter or a Drill Sargeant? Part 1
posted by Amelia on February 5th, 2009

"According to Wikipedia, a Helicopter Parent is someone who:
“pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.”

Some practical examples of being a helicopter parent are:
*Driving your child to school if he/she misses the bus
*Taking your child’s homework up to school if he/she forgets it at home
*Waking your child up every morning when they are old enough to use an alarm clock
*Not allowing your child to fail at a project (finishing the project so it gets a good grade)
*Giving your child more lunch money even though he spent it unwisely earlier in the week
*Making excuses for the child why her homework wasn’t complete and begging the teacher to give the child another chance or a passing grade
*Settling all normal childhood battles for the child

Helicopter parents try to save their children from the hardships of the world and try too hard to make everything in the child’s life pain free and perfect. Helicopter parents love their children very much. They don’t want to see their children sad or suffering and feel like helping them out is the loving thing to do. Unfortunately, the result of helicopter parenting is that children grow up without knowing how to be responsible (because mommy and daddy have been doing all the rescuing!) and believe that they are incapable of doing anything. The children learn that they absolutely can’t make it in life without mommy and daddy.

Drill Sergeant Parents believe that they can make their children do whatever the parent says to do.

Drill Sergeant parenting incorporates threats and punishment in order to make the child do what the parent wants. The parent wants all the control and believes that the more control he/she has, the more likely the child is to obey. Unfortunately, there are many things you cannot “make” a child do. These parents have children who don’t really learn how to make good decisions—they only learn how to avoid getting in trouble or get a reward. Children of drill sergeants have a difficult time thinking for themselves because their parents do all the thinking for them.

Some practical examples of being a drill sergeant are:
*Barking orders to clean up toys, bedrooms etc.
*Yelling—especially at bedtime when the children aren’t going to bed like they are supposed to.
*Continuous power struggles (homework, chores, talking back)

Drill Sergeants love their children too. They just believe that they can make their children do what they want by bossing them around. Unfortunately, the downfalls of drill sergeant parenting is communicating to the child that he/she can’t think for him/herself and that he/she isn’t capable of making it in life either."

The post goes on to discuss a parenting technique called Love and Logic. Go on over and check it out - very interesting stuff.

I'm not sure where I fall in these two categories - I see myself in both. I think if Nathan didn't have Down syndrome, I'd be a Drill Sargeant Mom.

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