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Nathan is Hebrew and means "gift from God" - we couldn't have been more blessed than to have been chosen as his parents!

Thank you for keeping up-to-date with Nathan. We hope you visit often and enjoy experiencing our son's journey as much as we do. Please feel free to leave comments.

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

You know this Christmas tune! "It's the most wonderful time of the year. Where kids have to be tested and therapists are telling you be of good cheer! Oh, it's the most wonderful time of the year..." I've been singing this Christmas tune for the past week because it's once again that time of year where Nathan has to go through the State required tests to continue his Early Intervention services. Unlike Christmas, this time of the year sucks. It's the time of the year where we have to acknowledge what Nathan's not doing that other children his age are and we receive the lovely news regarding his developmental. I struggle with these tests because on a daily basis we don't focus on what Nathan's not doing but what he is doing. On the flip side, I'm also aware of the therapist rationale ~ these tests allow us to recognize Nathan's weaknesses so we can set goals for the next 6-months. I get it but it doesn't make it any easier.

Last week, these tests/reports, my Christmas tune and some bible scripture brought things full circle for our family. On Tuesday, my Aunt sent me an email about Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord. The email spoke about why we are always in such a hurry in life ~ we have deadlines, appointments and schedules ~ rush rush rush. We have fast cars, faster microwaves and we can't wait for anything. I'm guilty. I sent this email to Danny and after he read Nathan's reports on Sunday, I asked him, "what do you think?" His reply, "I know my son, I know what he can do and why does everyone have to be in such a hurry anyway! He'll get it ~ on his own schedule."

I've stopped singing that Christmas tune.

On tap this week: walking and standing up all by myself video, Nathan eating with chop sticks, a thoughtful gift from the Amish and the next Dr. Seuss reveal!!! Have a great day!

5 comments:

Lianna said...

Kandi, I just wanted to say that you're not alone in the constant adjustment of expectation. I do it, too.

With having Ben here, who is a typical one and half year old, I've been contemplating the differences between he and Gabriel.

It's hard sometimes because the truth is startling, and it can be upsetting. There is a difference, plain and simple.

But when I try to gauge Gabriel's developmental age, I can't. He's bright and smart and charismatic and beautiful beyond anything I had hoped for (and past his four year old peers!)...And yet he is delayed where social expectations count most it seems.

When I read your last sentence of your post today, I can see that Nathan is doing well (Gee, I can't eat with chopsticks to save my life!). Like Gabriel, he can't be identified by a developmental age. A good therapist, in any field, will acknowledge this, IMO.

Personally, I think you're on the right track by using the tests as only an outline on what you want to work on with Nathan. Terry and I do that, too.

Enjoy your beautiful son! I think you and your husband are doing a GREAT job with Nathan!

Mairead Elizabeth Hickok said...

Danny said it perfectly- you have an amazing little guy there and what's most important is that he is loved. Good luck with all the testing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, the wonderful world of reports, goals, benchmarks, yearly progress, blah blah blah! Ho Hum!

When I attended CPSE or CSE meetings with parents and therapists I was always afraid (and I mean scared to death--- sweaty palms, cracking speech, sweaty palms, red in the face, sweaty palms) to show parents my reports and suggestions for the next year's IEP. Especially those parents that I knew personally, because I knew that they worked tirelessly to help their child make the progress that they had made to this point and now I have to sit here and ONLY write about and talk about what hasn't been "achieved" yet or the one I like the best "Not represented" which is a sugar coated way of saying "we think he/she can do it....but we haven't actually seen him/her do it in our presence."

Why was I scared? Because you said it.....what you see on paper is never what you see it home....or should I say it's not ALL you see at home. What is written on that paper could never toally define your son and all that he hass achieved and all that he is capable of on his own terms.

When you're going through your daily lives you don't sit there and spend endless amounts of time pouring over the aspects of your child's development that are still emerging. You don't talk about, nonetheless write about and deliver a speech about, every little detail of what some might consider "weaknesses."

You just don't!!!

I'mblown away by the effort Nathan puts into every little movement and thought process that it takes to move through the motions of his day as independently as possible AND he does it all the while with the most gracious, positive attitude, AND manages to cheer up everyone around him!

I'd feel this way about soooo many of my kids but unfortunately, they don't give us enough space for those assurances on paper.

Anyhoo, you know how spectacular your son is, and you don't need anybody pointing out what he can do on his own or what he can do with a little help....so as a teacher having to do this I've come to the realization that if the only way I can secure the funding, staff, and developmentally appropriate materials to ensure the success and happiness of that child in my classroom, is to put it in writing and on paper, then damnit I'm going to put it on paper and display it for the board to see!

AND, I've even been guilty of having to "overemphasize" a need so that special ed boards would agree to keep offering a service that I knew the child needed.....but the numbers on paper didn't reflect that need.

Catch 22.....but I've found that once I realized this....and once I shared with parents that I too saw the whole picture when looking at their child, but I could only put a snapshot of it on paper in order to keep services in place and advocate for their child, they were okay with it!!!! (I think they knew this before I did, and it sounds like you and Danny have it down to, but I felt so much better at these meetings when I finally caught on to the fact that writing these things didn't make me insensitive or rude)

So just keep telling them that- put whatever you want on that paper for the board to see if it's going to ensure Nathan gets what he needs and is deserving of, but you and Danny get the satisfaction and happiness of enjoying the whole picture.

Love you guys
*Aunt Charly

Conrad, Megan and Our Precious Keaton said...

Hello dear Terry Family, just wanted to pop by and say hi! Like my friend Loren wrote on her blog not so long ago - No book, No Doctor, No Test can tell you who your child is! And I totally agree! You and Danny know Nathan the best and you know what he can do! He is just gorgeous and healthy and so darn cute! And I agree no test can prove that! His love, his gentleness, his beautiful smile, his happiness is something that comes from the heart! I would not worry about what tests can tell me about my child, but what his heart tells me! And from all the love he gives you I say he passed with flying colours!
Sending Nathan agreat big hug! Megs and Keaton

Anonymous said...

Nathan is Nathan. He is wonderful little boy with a huge smile and big heart. Looking itno his eyes makes me melt. We all grow at our own pace and learn at our own pace, there is no need to hurry or rush, eventually we get there! Nathan will grown into a fine young man and he will know he is loved tremendously and he has a great family behind him. No matter what that piece of paper ever says, we know that this little boy is truly, a gift from God!
Love,
Aunt Nikki